Paul Warwick, a work in progress, and his alter-egos Rafe Beedeeeye and Godfree Finker welcome you to their blog and site. For menu on mobiles click the down arrow below right. LOVE, LIFE, OPTIMISM - please share
Thursday, 14 May 2020
BACK IN THE COVID - The Lockdown Diary Day 19
Nothing to report. Had a late brunch. Tried a little digging. The sun came out and the weather warmed up. I tried lying down in it and that seemed so much more interesting. The seagulls cried like it was Cornwall and they were lusting after my chips ........ and when I awoke it was all over. The day that is.
BACK IN THE COVID - The Lockdown Diary Day 18
Digging for victory has made some progress. Some time, years, has passed since this area was last cultivated. In that time the Lawson’s Cypress on the right has cleverly exploited the grass being watered by poking its roots underneath this whole area. What has been dug up, this is just today’s haul, can be seen on the left. Some of those roots are 100mm across! My shoulder hurts. Sharon has planted beans today, runner and french, and they are in the greenhouse for germination and planting out in May. I am re-purposing two shallow concrete alpine trays as salad vegetable containers for some lettuce. All serious stuff and there is a bonus, my Fatbit went berserk with excitement and congratulations for my achievement of 5 continuous days of strenuous fat burning exercise. Unfortunately this does not fully compensate for the two extra snacks a day I’m having.

The stupefying stuff mentioned yesterday needed some digesting so I waited a while before mentioning it. A 5G wireless radio mast was burnt down last night. A conspiracy theory now abroad and gaining traction claims that 5G wireless radiation causes immunity systems to be lowered and Corona symptoms made worse and people are believing it. I can understand gullibility but this is not gullibility, neither is it stupidity. This implies that some people actively search for explanations which are easily refuted by science and reason in order to elevate the impossible to faith worthy status. I am inclined to wonder if the gradual demise of religion in society must be replaced, for some people by conspiracy theories such as this, as an alternative improbability. The need to invent something to believe in without evidence seems to be powerful.

The stupefying stuff mentioned yesterday needed some digesting so I waited a while before mentioning it. A 5G wireless radio mast was burnt down last night. A conspiracy theory now abroad and gaining traction claims that 5G wireless radiation causes immunity systems to be lowered and Corona symptoms made worse and people are believing it. I can understand gullibility but this is not gullibility, neither is it stupidity. This implies that some people actively search for explanations which are easily refuted by science and reason in order to elevate the impossible to faith worthy status. I am inclined to wonder if the gradual demise of religion in society must be replaced, for some people by conspiracy theories such as this, as an alternative improbability. The need to invent something to believe in without evidence seems to be powerful.
BACK IN THE COVID - The Lockdown Diary Day 17
By way of a change from all those worrying headlines and being lost for more edifying discussion given the almost stupefying stuff going around on social media platforms, (more on that tomorrow), today I am presenting some soft porn for your delectation. I’m joking of course. Seriously, I thought a diverting challenge might lighten the mood so here is the challenge. Guess the cup size! You could call it a comp-a-tit-shun. Using your skill and judgement send me your best guess and a maximum of ten complimentary words regarding my great shape and with all the Anglo-Saxon expletives redacted I will publish a winner later on. The prize you ask? The first prize for the best answer will be your very own personalised offencive limerick based on your name.
BACK IN THE COVID - The Lockdown Diary Day 16
We are dredging every scrap of information, news, data and reports on the COVID-19 situation throughout the world. There is a great deal of it. Much of it ill-informed, mis-interpreted or so buttered up with political word salad as to be worthless. It should not be necessary at times like this to find yourself hunting down the truth hidden amongst the garbage spewed out by the Daily Wail and the Daily Distress and all the other media lie machines who have billionaire press barons to support through these difficult times. Sadly the value of objective truth has diminished and, in a crisis like this, conspicuous by its absence. My feelings are exercised to say the least by the governments own continuous lies and cover ups. In particular desperately needed tests seem to be increasing by leaps and bounds in terms of the numbers promised but are effectively zero in reality. It seems that their way to avoid criticism of todays poor performance is to promise ever bigger numbers in the future, bigger than those that were promised for yesterday but never happened.
In spite of the tragic numbers coming out of Spain and Italy their crisis has peaked. In each case it took about 4 weeks. On that basis our numbers will get worse but there will be a peak and a reduction thereafter probably in the third week of April.
More news from the allotment tomorrow but here is the promised wildlife report.
It is interesting to note how connections work amongst our fellow residents in the garden. Mr. Woodpigeon is a randy bugger and is now attempting to serve two females on a regular basis, about every 20 minutes each during sunny periods. On the patio, on the roof, in the trees and amongst the shrubs and no doubt many other places around the garden which we cannot see from the window. The Mrs Woodpigeons 1 & 2 are not so enthusiastically driven by their hormones although they are regularly dropping eggs in flight. Mr. Woodpigeon however will not be detered easily and a flurry of feathers often results from his insistent overtures.
The Tits though are altogether more discrete and I am excited to report that we have our first nesting Coal Tits. We are not too sure at the moment if they have won control of the nest box, there is competition from the Blue Tit population, who were understandably peeved since they had so beautifully lined it out last year. It surely must be a cosy little nest in there and most of it thanks to Mr. Woodpigeon’s uncontrollable urges covering the garden with the finest stuff from The Mrs. Woodpigeon’s 1 & 2 brood patches.
Just managed to capture a distant and blurry shot of Mr. Coal Tit after delivering his nest material. Mrs Coal Tit is inside.
In spite of the tragic numbers coming out of Spain and Italy their crisis has peaked. In each case it took about 4 weeks. On that basis our numbers will get worse but there will be a peak and a reduction thereafter probably in the third week of April.
More news from the allotment tomorrow but here is the promised wildlife report.
It is interesting to note how connections work amongst our fellow residents in the garden. Mr. Woodpigeon is a randy bugger and is now attempting to serve two females on a regular basis, about every 20 minutes each during sunny periods. On the patio, on the roof, in the trees and amongst the shrubs and no doubt many other places around the garden which we cannot see from the window. The Mrs Woodpigeons 1 & 2 are not so enthusiastically driven by their hormones although they are regularly dropping eggs in flight. Mr. Woodpigeon however will not be detered easily and a flurry of feathers often results from his insistent overtures.
The Tits though are altogether more discrete and I am excited to report that we have our first nesting Coal Tits. We are not too sure at the moment if they have won control of the nest box, there is competition from the Blue Tit population, who were understandably peeved since they had so beautifully lined it out last year. It surely must be a cosy little nest in there and most of it thanks to Mr. Woodpigeon’s uncontrollable urges covering the garden with the finest stuff from The Mrs. Woodpigeon’s 1 & 2 brood patches.
Just managed to capture a distant and blurry shot of Mr. Coal Tit after delivering his nest material. Mrs Coal Tit is inside.
BACK IN THE COVID - The Lockdown Diary Day 15
Here we are then at the start of week three. More than 2500 persons have died of this dreadful illness, the NHS is undersupplied, in absolute chaos with inadequate personal protection equipment, staff shortages thanks largely to Brexit but also due to self-isolation out of fear and lack of testing. Meanwhile the government is flag waving for our beleaguered NHS whilst lying continuously in their daily reports. At the same time they believe, beneath it all, in the ideological objective of privatisation. It is tragic but as bad as they are the probable number of deaths in the UK will be far exceeded by those in the USA simply because their health system IS privatised but the expectation of this government changing its ideologal point of view is probably zero.
It was chilly outside today. The wildlife was unusually busy but more on that tomorrow. It was dry and it smelled of the spring, an olfactory experience as near as we can get to the smell of optimism. Frosts after tomorrow are not expected and the gardener’s year is off. The pond also is off. I have since quite a young man treasured the dream of making a wildlife pond and albeit slowly it was the next major job and was to be built this year. I had already marked out and nearly cleared the area. Covid-19 has stopped that.
I am not concerned too much. For me it was only a dream, one man’s loss and an altogether insignificant loss in comparison to the tragedy going on around us. So today I broke into the spring rhythm and began to dig that area with a plan to turn it over to vegetables. In the picture you can see how big the planned pond was and how much progress was made today. The soil in our locality is poor, calcareous, dry and impoverished, so I am not at all optimistic about success but it just seems the right thing to do. This is not a war such as the war our parents lived through and fought in, but for our generation it is indeed our “war” so in my isolation I shall “dig for victory”.
It was chilly outside today. The wildlife was unusually busy but more on that tomorrow. It was dry and it smelled of the spring, an olfactory experience as near as we can get to the smell of optimism. Frosts after tomorrow are not expected and the gardener’s year is off. The pond also is off. I have since quite a young man treasured the dream of making a wildlife pond and albeit slowly it was the next major job and was to be built this year. I had already marked out and nearly cleared the area. Covid-19 has stopped that.
I am not concerned too much. For me it was only a dream, one man’s loss and an altogether insignificant loss in comparison to the tragedy going on around us. So today I broke into the spring rhythm and began to dig that area with a plan to turn it over to vegetables. In the picture you can see how big the planned pond was and how much progress was made today. The soil in our locality is poor, calcareous, dry and impoverished, so I am not at all optimistic about success but it just seems the right thing to do. This is not a war such as the war our parents lived through and fought in, but for our generation it is indeed our “war” so in my isolation I shall “dig for victory”.
BACK IN THE COVID - The Lockdown Diary Day 13
Unlucky 13? I beg to differ. Today our neighbour rang to see if we needed anything and brought us back a lettuce, cucumber and salad potatoes from Aldi (who seem to be better set up than any of the main supermarkets). We have such incredible support from our family and neighbours. On a general level, society as a whole are living without as much face-to-face social contact but other more inspiring social behaviours, long lost perhaps, are being re-discovered amongst communities up and down the country. When lockdown is lifted we should reflect on those behaviours we do NOT want to return to.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Think of the amount of fondness swashing around and all locked up in private at the moment frustrated for want of expression. As a child of the 60-70’s I cannot help thinking that we might be heading towards another age of Aquarius and some day ahead there will be one humongous love-in. We are well prepared as you can see!

There will be art today. For exercise there will be excavations in the garden to cultivate the area previously assigned to the now abandoned pond project. Digging for Britain is in full swing. In the potting shed I found a packet of runner bean seeds which my Dad bought (which makes them at least 6 years old) which have been planted in trays. There is a reasonable chance that some of them might germinate. Somewhere later in this narrative I will be reporting the creation of a new recipe for runner bean and lentil curry. My own fresh beans will be jolly handy when all our UK crops rot in the fields for want of all the seasonal EU workers we sent packing. The Government will be busing them back in soon, mark my words!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Think of the amount of fondness swashing around and all locked up in private at the moment frustrated for want of expression. As a child of the 60-70’s I cannot help thinking that we might be heading towards another age of Aquarius and some day ahead there will be one humongous love-in. We are well prepared as you can see!

There will be art today. For exercise there will be excavations in the garden to cultivate the area previously assigned to the now abandoned pond project. Digging for Britain is in full swing. In the potting shed I found a packet of runner bean seeds which my Dad bought (which makes them at least 6 years old) which have been planted in trays. There is a reasonable chance that some of them might germinate. Somewhere later in this narrative I will be reporting the creation of a new recipe for runner bean and lentil curry. My own fresh beans will be jolly handy when all our UK crops rot in the fields for want of all the seasonal EU workers we sent packing. The Government will be busing them back in soon, mark my words!
BACK IN THE COVID - The Lockdown Diary Day 14
I am quite reluctant to say this but I believe we are settling in to enforced confinement quite well behind these walls. We are very lucky to have plenty of places where we can hide from each other, we only have each other to trip over and a sizeable garden (it is 250 Fatbit steps to the top and back!). Of course we recognise that others are not so lucky. I am quite used to being alone and relish the opportunity to think. All creative people need this. Without time for ideas to gestate there is little point in letting them germinate. I am not at all afraid of getting either depressed or bored. In fact boredom itself I have no experience of. Sharon on the other hand is still adjusting to having her own time after caring for Sylvia more or less full time for 5 years. This is a period of recuperation for her. Having said all that it is very, very early days. In a few weeks or months down these entries I might be singing another tune but in the meantime we are not struggling.
We are fearful of course and we miss all the kids and babies and the fantastic family who are keeping us out of harms way. By the time we come out of this Gracie will be walking.
I miss the shops too. I love shopping not for the shopping per se but for the going about in the world, for observing all the odd behaviours, shapes, sorts and manifestations of this species of hominids we belong to. We are all part of a fascinating crowd of marvellous, struggling but resilient individuals. Supermarkets are one of my favourite reasons to go out and I miss them. Like my dad before me I am often to be found down one of the aisles talking crap and bollocks to any harmless stranger I happen to engage and who shows even the smattering of an interest in the wealth of totally irrelevant shite lurking in this fevered brain. As for the new self-service check! They are a challenge in themselves. A challenge to rise to. Did you know that you nearly get through a checkout without pressing any of their on screen buttons other than the Pay Now. They have re-programmed these checkouts in Sainsbury to record the fun and games we have making them work. They watch and when you get irate issue a new warning message. “Numpty in bagging area”. Here is a photograph of one numpty caught on camera. (Taken before all the numpties were locked up)
We are fearful of course and we miss all the kids and babies and the fantastic family who are keeping us out of harms way. By the time we come out of this Gracie will be walking.
I miss the shops too. I love shopping not for the shopping per se but for the going about in the world, for observing all the odd behaviours, shapes, sorts and manifestations of this species of hominids we belong to. We are all part of a fascinating crowd of marvellous, struggling but resilient individuals. Supermarkets are one of my favourite reasons to go out and I miss them. Like my dad before me I am often to be found down one of the aisles talking crap and bollocks to any harmless stranger I happen to engage and who shows even the smattering of an interest in the wealth of totally irrelevant shite lurking in this fevered brain. As for the new self-service check! They are a challenge in themselves. A challenge to rise to. Did you know that you nearly get through a checkout without pressing any of their on screen buttons other than the Pay Now. They have re-programmed these checkouts in Sainsbury to record the fun and games we have making them work. They watch and when you get irate issue a new warning message. “Numpty in bagging area”. Here is a photograph of one numpty caught on camera. (Taken before all the numpties were locked up)
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