“Let me tell you how I love you, shall I count the ways …” , famous words which, as those of an in depth interest in literature will know that Elizabeth Barret Browning, that sickly Victorian child destined to be the wife of England’s 19th century version of Shakespeare, were not as it happens, alluding to her beloved Bob but a bacon sandwich. I recalled this curious piece of information whilst indulging in my gluten free version of this great, quintessentially Wiltshire, culinary delicacy and asking myself how I get my R value down to under 1.0. Those who study these things will be aware that if you self isolate, I.e. keep farther than 7 days away from bacon sandwiches R will eventually be driven down. R’s above 1.0 will exponentially increase your weight whilst R’s below 1.0 will cause it to gradually decrease which is obviously the desirable end result. Now isolation from bacon sandwiches is a painful and difficult thing especially for one’s mental well being but I have, in spite of the risks, decided to keep my distance and in future isolate for 7 days rather than the current 2.
Bacon sandwiches to start with and a foot masseuse on hand whilst the brain was given a work over on a few sudoku puzzles has started the day off on a relaxed and luxurious footing. I think that must be the way forward today culminating with tonight’s niggle match replay of cribbage with our grandkids. No doubt some good, old fashioned, sedentary time wasted will prove beneficial but I do not anticipate my R’s getting any smaller as a result.